Letting go is overrated. It’s the easy way out. You just forget and move on and things are dandy again, correct?
But no, sometimes there is a bitter art to holding on to every resentful and negative feeling you have and FEELING it. Maybe letting it consume you for a few minutes/hours/days or even weeks/months/years.
What is it about our culture that facilitates this epidemic of “letting go”?
Okay, true facts about how holding on can negatively affect you:
1.) can encourage and worsen depression as well as a myriad of other mental ailments that many Americans struggle with daily
2.) can prevent conflict resolution and reparation of potentially joyful and beneficial relationships
3.) can cause the negativity to build up in one’s mindset and thus encourage a negative persona that one may not otherwise have had if they had moved on opposed to “dwelled”.
My question is: when telling people to move on, and let go, is there not a point where that becomes just as harmful as holding on?
Can it not encourage feelings of lackluster self-worth and “door mat” syndrome?
Can it not allow people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and potentially abusive?
Can it not allow that sad state of apathy to overtake a potentially vivacious spirit, had this spirit been allowed to fight and not just give in?
I’m sure people will agree that there is a “happy medium” so-to-speak. That there is a way to tread both roads just enough so as to mantain a semblance of sanity and a modicum of social ease and personal effervescence.
But I think that many could agree that our culture is not one that encourages a mid-road. It is a culture so intimidation by conflict and confrontation that our national carpet is lumpy as fuck with all the bullshit that’s been swept under it. (excuse the language, but seriously.)
It is one of those mentalities that has hurt our people so badly and deeply that we are living in communes on the street to make a point: we let it go for so long but now we really need to stick up for ourselves and say that “this is not right” and “you can not sweep us away any more.”
And look what has happened. Our media is portraying them as naive puppies that have been kicked and whimpering about it. Except they deserved to be kicked. Except we are being the greedy ones. We are being needy and selfish and self-pitying.
Because we want some god-damn equity and respect, but how does that make sense?
On another note, I have recently had the same kind of conflict on a smaller scale in my own life. Where those in powers converge to downplay your feelings and the realities of your own situation under their guise. Recently, I proffessor severely stepped out of line with me twice as well as publicly and my school’s administrationmade it seem as though there was going to be action so as this professor knows that she was out of line and that her behavior was unacceptable.
I was set up with this professor’s department head, who put together a meeting for the three of us so that we could work things out. But the moment came when I realized once more that I was on the outs and about to get a mighty walking-on. The department head told me that this whole ordeal sounds like a “communication conflict.”
And then it came. That moment when you are 2:1 in a room and you can feel the person that is supposed to be neutral downplaying an injustice of sorts, and throwing out other witnesses to a situation in which you are treated unfairly. My sense of confidence and self was chipped away at, as well as my voice that was demanding JUSTICE by means of well-played semantics. It is completely asinine. I felt as though I was losing my mind.
In the aftermath of this “meeting” I had several things happen. First, this meeting had been a “trigger” for me and had reawakened feelings of powerlessness that I had endured after I had been assaulted, without justice, the summer before last.
Second, my girlfriends rallied by my side and allowed me to cry it out and decried the injustice.
Third, several people told me to “let it go”, “get over it”, “suck up to her and move on.”
And it is with this last group of people the feelings of confusion and self-deprecation set in once more. Because there was a serious multitude of people with this voice.
And again, I ask WHY? Why can I not feel this pain and injustice? Why can’t I lament about it and then demand I be treated better—more fairly—with more understanding? Why can’t I plead for the removal of this woman’s farce of an “innocence” mask? Why am I considered defiant, ludicrous, even hysterical, because I protest, to the absolute t, the vaildity of my professor’s statement of “innocence”—particularly when I had witnesses that could suggest otherwise? Furthermore, why was it also stated that these witnesses may even be invalid due to the fact that they are students and may be more inclined to take the “student’s side”.
That’s all I can say and is where I feel inclined to conclude at this moment.
And so, again, I ask you—is there anything so wrong with the art of not letting go?
he’s snoring again.
My little sweetheart will not be calm unless latched. I think teething.
I think his father needs to wake up and brush his teeth.
I am tired but only because I am too contented to be bored.
Mama moon lays awake listening to
Papa Mars snore
Little Sun sniffle
Little, new sun
Little son not yet 4 moons old
Mama moon listens and little hand
Wraps itself around big finger
Discomfort. he moves. readjusting.
the axis of my heart spins.
The core tightens.
Little sun reaches out ray and touches Mama Moon.
He sighs. he is asleep once more.
I remain vigilent.
Father continues to snore.